Why I Hate New Year's Resolutions and the 3 Things I Do Instead
It's been years since I set any New Years resolutions and for good reason. I hate them! They make me feel like crap! Read on to hear about what I do instead and why i think you should drop the resolutions too.

1. Pause
Yep that's it. I never set intentions on January 1st, I wait. Sounds simple enough but it can be so easy to get caught up in the New Year's hype and let that hope and excitement for the new year creep in and have you slip back onto the resolution rollercoaster. I find that waiting a couple of weeks allows me to get clearer about what I want for this year, it also allows me to get realistic. It's not that I do nothing those first two weeks, I do plenty of thinking but I give myself time for clarity.
2. Setting Intentions
This is where I put pen to paper and actually write down all the things I want for the year. I focus less on quantitative goals (weight loss, money earned etc) and more on how success feels like, the feelings I want to cultivate along the way. So if my goal is health related I focus on how I would feel when I reach that "success point" like energised, comfortable in my skin etc. This has two benefits. Firstly, it keeps me from setting number based goals which if not met make me feel like crap. Secondly, it allows me to celebrate little wins along the way without having to think about how far away I am from my end goal which can take the joy right out of a celebration.
When writing your intentions down I here are some tips:
- Put on some calming music, light a candle, close the door. Setting the right vibe for you to think and write can make all the difference.
- Get out the paper and colored pens. Let your inner child help you and get creative, having something fun and colorful to refer back to will help keep the hope and excitement alive.
- Get specific but not too specific. What I mean by that is set those specific goals but try not to attach ultra specific numbers to them. For example if you want to earn more money in 2021, try setting goals as tasks like asking for a raise, finding new client leads, undertaking a course to gain more skills, etc.
- Attach feelings to each of them, how do you hope to feel as you work on these things and then also as you reach points of success.
3. Reflect and Pivot!!
This is one of the most important parts of my New Year Ritual, although it generally happens much later in the year, it is important to keep in mind as you set your intentions. Shit happens! Things change! Jeez just look at last year. Sometimes you have to PIVOT!!!!
This is something that I have learnt well as a military spouse, how to redirect when the proverbial rug is pulled out from under you. Know that it is okay to let go of a goal or intention if it is not serving you. Knowing this can also help in setting your original goals because it allows you to dream of all the possibilities without restraint, because you know that you can revisit them and nothing is set in stone. This also helps when some months have passed and you haven't made progress on something, revisiting and inquiring why something hasn't moved along can be very clarifying. You may wish to amend to simply get rid of an intention or two if things have changed.
...and that's it!
I hope some of this lands with you and helps you get off the resolution rollercoaster and feeling a little more optimistic about what 2021 has in store for us.
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